[ He's visibly chewing it over, his I don't think so that he hesitantly eases out into the air. He's more confident (maybe not proud, Billy reads as aware of what makes himself tick, at least) when he settles on I'm not very nice. She wants to say yeah, he isn't. Every interaction they've had before this has been riddled with pure disregard for common sense. For normal conversations. And for not even knowing him that well or long, Lottie knows this: Billy does what he wants.
Billy does what he wants maybe to the detriment of himself.
Her body is curled, Lottie slouched as she looks at him. Not because his beaded earring meets one of his defined shoulders, but because of how relatable (real?) he finally looks. She thinks she knows what he must feel. But the difference between them is, Lottie isn't brave enough to admit it to anyone but herself, how judgemental and callous she can be. ]
Isn't that normal? [ But she can dance around it. Is actually far better at that than being as honest as she's been. ] I mean, it's not easy going through this stuff. It's like girl friendships.. Sometimes you don't know if you wanna be them or. [ Be with them. ] You know? So it gets weird and complicated.
[ She loses him for a moment, because he doesn't know anything about girl friendships. But he catches up: ] If you want to be them, or if you want to fuck them?
[ He gets that. It's why he looks the way he looks, he thinks. Couldn't decide if he wanted to be a member of Def Leppard or just fuck them. He chose the hair, the earring, sunglasses, a cool car.
He wonders what this girl must have looked like. If Lottie looks like this. If Lottie wanted to 'be like her.' ] It got too weird. My kid sister told me to fuck off, and thenβ Jesus Christ. Do you have monsters back home? I feel like half of us do, and the others haveβ blogger spheres.
[ She nods, slow, careful, more inclined to agree now that Billy has spelled it out for the both of them. The line of idolization is so very thin. So very strange and consuming when your entire career is emulating and being desired.
βNot as strange as the mention of monsters. Lottie's brows raise, utterly confused but oddly amused at him holding up blogging to creepy crawlies. ]
It's just [ She laughs, gestures with a hand in the air. ] a circle of people who blog. Did influencers even exist in your time?
[ And before he can answerβ ]
But no. I had no monsters. I met a hot ghost once?? But that's like, about it.
Both? I don't know, she was an influencer too but I didn't look her up or anything? She just haunted me! [ God, Billy, she rolls her eyes. ] Just imagine like a hot girl but floaty and dead and blue and wearing a dress from Free People.
Which, by the way, what you die in is like what you're a ghost in forever! You're welcome.
[ Who the fuck just gets haunted by a hot ghost? Lottie, apparently. But, Billy can't talk, after all his possession.
He looks perturbed by the thought of being eternally cursed to wear whatever he died in, but then, he just looks smug: ] Not true. If it were, I'd be stuck wearing jeans and a beater forever.
[ Showing up naked was a blessing. He can wear whatever he wants, Lottie! ]
Yeah. Last thing I remember. [ Notably: the last thing he remembers his his kid sister's watery blue eyes. Funny that they weren't really related, weren't really siblings, but they had the same blue-blue eyes. ]
Kinda thought everyone was dead at first. [ Hell or purgatory? Definitely not heaven. ] I don't look like a ghost, right?
No? You just look like a [ hot ] guy. An alive guy.
[ And she knows he is, because her blankets have sunken in where he's sat beside her. She can smell him, hear him. If she reached out and touched him she'd feel him, too, all the hard muscle that built her shelf. ]
If you were a ghost you'd float and stuff.. That's what she did!
You should talk to Ihβ [ Oh oops. he's not supposed to tell people about Iggy 'ghost-whisperer' Melville, right? They'd talked about it months ago, it's not at top of mind. ]
Guess I must not be a ghost then. I'm pretty warm, right? [ He holds his hand out for her to touch, grinning a little, blue eyes shading toward mischievous. ] Solid too. [ Wink. ]
[ Talk to who? While he's with her?? Sure, he may be here bartering his heart out but still!! Have some decorum! Even so she plays along, despite the flat and unimpressed look she sends his way when he reaches a hand out. She puts her own in his, if only because she's curious. Always wondering about differences between people, if the ones with their hands is something to note, too. ]
You're alright..
[ She says, despite not letting go. Even as she's turning his hand over and squinting down at the skin of his hand, any cuts and creases, jewelry. ]
Lukewarm? [ Like he's wounded, face twisting, a pout.
His hand twists too, his thumb running up over her palm. She has long fingers, and pretty, manicured nails. His are clean, neat, not quite so manicured, not the sort of thing that flies in 1985. But he has a few rings, a thick one, all silver, another that's thinner, a few stones pressed in. ] I run hot.
[ There's no doubt in her mind that he does, because even this much of him she is touching is oddly warm. Feels like he's leaving tingles behind with every trace of his thumb up, down, her palm. She uses it as an excuse to examine his rings, not because she wants her hand to stay there longer or anything. In turn he'll see her own, a few gemless bands that adorn some fingers, a thumb. No gold in sight. ]
So are yours, [ drawled. He thinks he gets her a little, maybe a lot. The raw but absent way they talk about their desires, the people who are stuck in their craw, who are stuck inside them. That feeling of knowing who you are, but still having no damn clue.Β
He notices. Thumb running over one of her rings. ] No gold. Too gaudy? Gonna fuck with your look?
Uh, yeah. [ A little breathy, like she's still in disbelief he'd guess the reason so easy (has the same thought run through his mind? Picking out his jewelry or the day? Who will I be? It has to have. What will people see when I put this color on? He must know.) ] I only wear gold on my ear. [ She's allergic to anything but. Lottie can't wear fun party jewelry for long, so she often has the same kind of earring on rotation, just different shades. ]
I like pearls.. [ His thumb rubs at one of her rings and her eyes are drawn to the particularly thick one. Her own are more slender, look like they've even been freshly polished. She smiles, soft, a little bashful. ] After silver. Or string. Ribbons. Body jewelry is great.
Between you and me though, I'll wear gold sometimes.. But only if I have to.
Pearls are nice. [ Hard to find around here, with no ocean bumping up against the city. A good like that comes through the duchess or costs a really, really pretty trade at the jewelers. That thought gets tucked away, a file called: Lottie.
But he's grinning at her prettily. ] You could make it work. All gold, everything. You'd look like a California sunrise. Your hair's green like palm.
[ Rich, lush palm trees. ] You have any body jewelry? I'm deciding on a few myself.
[ California. She hasn't thought about a sunrise in that state (in Los Angeles) in a long time. She sees Billy and thinks about how she hated the beach. Maybe she'd like it now, with the time away, with her medication. Maybe if he was there she could like it, learn to tolerate it even.
But that thought is tucked away, because he's moving too fast and her brows raise. Body jewelry? Where?? Her face says. ]
Uh, no. I've only ever got my ears pierced! [ She says, despite only one being on her body. ] I don't even know what I'd do, like.. A belly piercing is cute? So 2000s.
[ He'd kill for a beach day, laying flat on a towel, hot sun baking pale skin into a toasty golden brown. He's been here too long, and soon he'll lose some of that hue from July 1985, where he'd spent most of his days flirting as a minimum wage life guard. ]
Hot. [ It is hot. Belly button piercings are hot, and he has a little whiplash knowing they'll become more ubiquitous in 15 years, not saved for edgy or hippie girls in far off places. But before he tells her his wants, he smiles. There's the briefest pause, he's still getting used to wanting shit like this and not just being perceived as... a queer. ]
Nipples. I'm talking to Munson about it. [ He grins slyly, but his eyes flick to her ears. ]
You want some? [ His thoughts stray to her and body piercings, and it's a fight to stay... respectful. ] You've only got the one ear pierced.
[ Nipples? She can't remotely control the way her eyes bounce down to his, as if she's imaging what the hell that must look like. What it would look like specifically on him. Lottie never really understood the allure of it (too worried about infections, too worried about hiding it, too shy and weird about her own body to consider it) but she kind of gets it at the thought of Billy with them.
She doesn't say it, though. Just presses her lips thin and tries hard not to seem distracted (she's been quiet for some time now) (she has failed). ]
Ohβ um.. [ Munson? Eddie? Eddie does nipple piercings?? Eddie piercing Billy's nipples?? Her hand moves up to wipe at her nose for no particular reason, other than she wants to duck her warm face somewhere out of sight. ] I mean.. Yeah, I do have the one but like I don't know if it'd even look good on me like itwouldonyou?
Yeah, that Munson. He's gonna do it for me. [ He's smiling at her even though he and Eddie Munson are complicated. They're complicated because Billy was drugged as fuck when they first met here. It's because he knows Eddie, knows they come from the same place, were taught the same shit. It's not like Jem, who thinks the queer shit is hot. Or Murphy, who looks baffled at the thought it's not accepted.
But he's not thinking about Eddie. He's thinking about the way her eyes dip down to her chest, the way her words run together a little bit. He leans closer, ducks his head toward her: ]
You think it'll look good on me? [ Unabashed cockiness. His eyes flick down her body in return. ] I think you could rock it; pretty sure you could rock anything.
[ It's unclear if he's suggesting she pierce her belly button... or her nipples. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rubilykskoye π²π·π«πΈπ π¬
no subject
Billy does what he wants maybe to the detriment of himself.
Her body is curled, Lottie slouched as she looks at him. Not because his beaded earring meets one of his defined shoulders, but because of how relatable (real?) he finally looks. She thinks she knows what he must feel. But the difference between them is, Lottie isn't brave enough to admit it to anyone but herself, how judgemental and callous she can be. ]
Isn't that normal? [ But she can dance around it. Is actually far better at that than being as honest as she's been. ] I mean, it's not easy going through this stuff. It's like girl friendships.. Sometimes you don't know if you wanna be them or. [ Be with them. ] You know? So it gets weird and complicated.
no subject
[ He gets that. It's why he looks the way he looks, he thinks. Couldn't decide if he wanted to be a member of Def Leppard or just fuck them. He chose the hair, the earring, sunglasses, a cool car.
He wonders what this girl must have looked like. If Lottie looks like this. If Lottie wanted to 'be like her.' ] It got too weird. My kid sister told me to fuck off, and thenβ Jesus Christ. Do you have monsters back home? I feel like half of us do, and the others haveβ blogger spheres.
[ He has no clue what a 'blog' is. ]
no subject
βNot as strange as the mention of monsters. Lottie's brows raise, utterly confused but oddly amused at him holding up blogging to creepy crawlies. ]
It's just [ She laughs, gestures with a hand in the air. ] a circle of people who blog. Did influencers even exist in your time?
[ And before he can answerβ ]
But no. I had no monsters. I met a hot ghost once?? But that's like, about it.
no subject
A hot ghost? Did you actually see it, or did an old lady wearing beads grift you on the boardwalk?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
What kind of hot? I've never seen a ghost. Did she have style or did she have goodβ bone structure?
no subject
Which, by the way, what you die in is like what you're a ghost in forever! You're welcome.
no subject
He looks perturbed by the thought of being eternally cursed to wear whatever he died in, but then, he just looks smug: ] Not true. If it were, I'd be stuck wearing jeans and a beater forever.
[ Showing up naked was a blessing. He can wear whatever he wants, Lottie! ]
no subject
Your ass died?
no subject
Yeah. Last thing I remember. [ Notably: the last thing he remembers his his kid sister's watery blue eyes. Funny that they weren't really related, weren't really siblings, but they had the same blue-blue eyes. ]
Kinda thought everyone was dead at first. [ Hell or purgatory? Definitely not heaven. ] I don't look like a ghost, right?
no subject
[ And she knows he is, because her blankets have sunken in where he's sat beside her. She can smell him, hear him. If she reached out and touched him she'd feel him, too, all the hard muscle that built her shelf. ]
If you were a ghost you'd float and stuff.. That's what she did!
no subject
Guess I must not be a ghost then. I'm pretty warm, right? [ He holds his hand out for her to touch, grinning a little, blue eyes shading toward mischievous. ] Solid too. [ Wink. ]
no subject
You're alright..
[ She says, despite not letting go. Even as she's turning his hand over and squinting down at the skin of his hand, any cuts and creases, jewelry. ]
Like, lukewarm.
no subject
His hand twists too, his thumb running up over her palm. She has long fingers, and pretty, manicured nails. His are clean, neat, not quite so manicured, not the sort of thing that flies in 1985. But he has a few rings, a thick one, all silver, another that's thinner, a few stones pressed in. ] I run hot.
no subject
Sure you do.
[ There's no doubt in her mind that he does, because even this much of him she is touching is oddly warm. Feels like he's leaving tingles behind with every trace of his thumb up, down, her palm. She uses it as an excuse to examine his rings, not because she wants her hand to stay there longer or anything. In turn he'll see her own, a few gemless bands that adorn some fingers, a thumb. No gold in sight. ]
..These are pretty. [ His rings, she means. ]
no subject
He notices. Thumb running over one of her rings. ] No gold. Too gaudy? Gonna fuck with your look?
no subject
I like pearls.. [ His thumb rubs at one of her rings and her eyes are drawn to the particularly thick one. Her own are more slender, look like they've even been freshly polished. She smiles, soft, a little bashful. ] After silver. Or string. Ribbons. Body jewelry is great.
Between you and me though, I'll wear gold sometimes.. But only if I have to.
no subject
But he's grinning at her prettily. ] You could make it work. All gold, everything. You'd look like a California sunrise. Your hair's green like palm.
[ Rich, lush palm trees. ] You have any body jewelry? I'm deciding on a few myself.
no subject
But that thought is tucked away, because he's moving too fast and her brows raise. Body jewelry? Where?? Her face says. ]
Uh, no. I've only ever got my ears pierced! [ She says, despite only one being on her body. ] I don't even know what I'd do, like.. A belly piercing is cute? So 2000s.
[ Her lips quirk up in a smile. ]
What are you thinking about?
no subject
Hot. [ It is hot. Belly button piercings are hot, and he has a little whiplash knowing they'll become more ubiquitous in 15 years, not saved for edgy or hippie girls in far off places. But before he tells her his wants, he smiles. There's the briefest pause, he's still getting used to wanting shit like this and not just being perceived as... a queer. ]
Nipples. I'm talking to Munson about it. [ He grins slyly, but his eyes flick to her ears. ]
You want some? [ His thoughts stray to her and body piercings, and it's a fight to stay... respectful. ] You've only got the one ear pierced.
1/2
no subject
She doesn't say it, though. Just presses her lips thin and tries hard not to seem distracted (she's been quiet for some time now) (she has failed). ]
Ohβ um.. [ Munson? Eddie? Eddie does nipple piercings?? Eddie piercing Billy's nipples?? Her hand moves up to wipe at her nose for no particular reason, other than she wants to duck her warm face somewhere out of sight. ] I mean.. Yeah, I do have the one but like I don't know if it'd even look good on me like itwouldonyou?
no subject
But he's not thinking about Eddie. He's thinking about the way her eyes dip down to her chest, the way her words run together a little bit. He leans closer, ducks his head toward her: ]
You think it'll look good on me? [ Unabashed cockiness. His eyes flick down her body in return. ] I think you could rock it; pretty sure you could rock anything.
[ It's unclear if he's suggesting she pierce her belly button... or her nipples. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
i'm so sorry.
SOBBING LITERALLY
(no subject)
(no subject)