Because I don't want to talk about it. I want to hear about what's going on with you and gossip about people we both know and go out somewhere when I'm back.
[ Lottie quietly stews and stares at nothing, for once unable to hide her frustration from their connection, the beginnings of a tantrum she has to swallow down because she cares about John. She cares that he thinks she only wants a good time and values that more than her worry for him. She cares that this isn't about what she wants, when she desperately wants it to be.
Exasperated, she runs her hands over her face. Eventually: ]
it took felipe talking to you to want to know how i am? seriously??
[ John, on the other hand, is a telepathic blank wall, his usual text somehow even more toneless than usual. He could be experiencing anything and it would be impossible to tell. ]
Really only talking to people I won't feel bad about upsetting.
I just don't want to hurt or upset you. And being miffed because I'm ignoring you doesn't count. I know you must have a dozen other people who want to spend time with you β fairly sure Felipe has a crush, for starters. Go enjoy their company for a while.
[ it's interesting, this side of her. not pretty, not easygoing, not his good girl. moody and difficult and upset with him. selfish, in a way that isn't really that surprising. it makes him wonder what else he can dig up from under that bright facade. I'm just being dumb because I miss you. ]
[ It's the last thing she expects, but the thing she wants the most. In the end it is not as sweet and sugary as she hoped, none of it tastes savory on her tongue or mingles light and fluffy when his words dance into her head. Why is John like this? She tried changing the subject, like he wanted, yet he didn't respond well to that. He said what were we talking about yet pivots back to this.
She doesn't get it. She doesn't get him when he is usually so easy for her to read, and it's draining. Fraying her already fragile emotional state. And then she wonders, how well does she even know him?
(A louder part of her goes: does it matter?)
Lottie doesn't reply with words, but the ever present sensation that she is still upset with him. That as much as seeing this warms her chest, everything else is weighing her down. But at least, above all else, she is listening, hasn't left quite yet. ]
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rubilykskoye π²π·π«πΈπ π¬
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do you hear yourself
how is that NOT a bad thing?
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Exasperated, she runs her hands over her face. Eventually: ]
it took felipe talking to you to want to know how i am? seriously??
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Really only talking to people I won't feel bad about upsetting.
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but what about me? i think im more than just 'people'
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stop it
i don't care about other people. forget about felipe.
i care about you, okay?
i'm just being dumb because i miss you
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[ The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. ]
1/?? this is going to be long im so sorry
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and DONE
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Hey. What were we talking about?
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Listen, once she wakes up the dead and I get to overhear it I'll be out of here. You can go a week without me, right?
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NONE of this is fair
i never even said that
&why even ask me like i have a choice??
i just dont get it
just
do whatever you need to do
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I miss you too, btw.
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She doesn't get it. She doesn't get him when he is usually so easy for her to read, and it's draining. Fraying her already fragile emotional state. And then she wonders, how well does she even know him?
(A louder part of her goes: does it matter?)
Lottie doesn't reply with words, but the ever present sensation that she is still upset with him. That as much as seeing this warms her chest, everything else is weighing her down. But at least, above all else, she is listening, hasn't left quite yet. ]