( marc would describe himself as guarded, if he had to, but it's not quite the truth. he likes to think of himself as guarded but the reality is he's prickly and more of an open book than he'd like to be. he's prone to ranting and raving and emotional outbursts that say more of his self-perception than anything he actually says ever does or ever has.
there are times when he thinks that lottie gets it — or gets him, whatever, he's not sure what the difference is or if it even matters — even if she doesn't realise it. other times, he thinks she doesn't get any of it at all. other times like this.
("what do you do to not be distracted?")
he extends a hand and gestures vaguely. it's an action that means what do you think?, an unspoken question that asks what do you think moon knight is? it's flawed and not as effective as he'd always like, having veered to and fro on how much it's part of the problem and how much it helps the problem. the truth is that marc finds it — all of it — all-encompassing and all-consuming, but he knows that without it, he wouldn't have anything. he doesn't know who he'd be.
(steven? jake? not marc—.)
the difference is, marc doesn't let himself forget any of it. marc has boxes upon files upon tapes of his history, his mistakes, his choices, locked away in cupboards in this building. )
I beat people up at night. ( is what he says and even as he says it, he knows how it sounds. is aware, quite suddenly, that compared to lottie person's very normal life, his is the poster child for not dealing with problems. that his solution is frankly and utterly absurd.
(every solution he's tried has been the same: problematic and self-destructive.) )
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there are times when he thinks that lottie gets it — or gets him, whatever, he's not sure what the difference is or if it even matters — even if she doesn't realise it. other times, he thinks she doesn't get any of it at all. other times like this.
("what do you do to not be distracted?")
he extends a hand and gestures vaguely. it's an action that means what do you think?, an unspoken question that asks what do you think moon knight is? it's flawed and not as effective as he'd always like, having veered to and fro on how much it's part of the problem and how much it helps the problem. the truth is that marc finds it — all of it — all-encompassing and all-consuming, but he knows that without it, he wouldn't have anything. he doesn't know who he'd be.
(steven?
jake?
not marc—.)
the difference is, marc doesn't let himself forget any of it.
marc has boxes upon files upon tapes of his history, his mistakes, his choices, locked away in cupboards in this building. )
I beat people up at night. ( is what he says and even as he says it, he knows how it sounds. is aware, quite suddenly, that compared to lottie person's very normal life, his is the poster child for not dealing with problems. that his solution is frankly and utterly absurd.
(every solution he's tried has been the same: problematic and self-destructive.) )